Be Still....

and know I am God.

As I lay in bed last night, thinking of what I needed to do this week, I realized I had not spent more than 5 minutes thinking about God in the past week. I was so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself for oversleeping, leaving clean laundry (or Mount Clean Laundry, as I call it ) on the floor, seperated but not put up, lack of parenting skills, and the utter lack of intimacy in my marriage that I had not given any of my problems over to God. No wonder I was so stressed! The first thing that came to my mind was be still and know I am God. Anxiety, depression, and laziness had me doubting my position in God's story! I can believe it but it was honestly a surprise.

I'm not perfect, far from it. Those people out there that know me, know I proudly wear that badge. There's no point in trying to be perfect and it's no fun! I do however, hold myself to a higher standard than those around me. This past week has felt like I let everything go like dry sand running through your hands on a windy day. Does anyone else feel like this?

This past week has been hard for me specifically because I felt like I let myself down. My apartment is ALWAYS clean, people comment on it frequently! I am known as the anal one. Being too embarrassed to invite people over because of the state of the apartment is horrific to me, which in turn makes me depressed, and therefore lazy. Don't ask me why, I don't know!
I'll do a quick rundown of my Sunday for you. I committed myself to working hospitality in my church (Vinings Lake) for 1st svc and working in Creation Land (children "bible-study") for the 2nd service, as well as watching a child for a favor. None of that worked out. I stayed up until 4 or 5 cooking muffins for the church and talking to my friend, Julie, about a new endeavor we're embarking upon. I went to bed and set the alarm for 7a.m. Woke up @ 10:30....totally missed 2 committments right there, tried to call/txt coordinators, phone wasn't working! The child I was supposed to watch, found out when I didn't answer the phone they had to turn around and call into work! So what did I do? Figured out why my phone didn't work, apologized profusely to everyone, and went back to sleep. Yeah, that's right, I went back to sleep! Woke up in time for the Super Bowl, which I didn't watch by the way. I went to see Avatar 3D with my friend Julie.

So back to my point, I made myself stop thinking of everything needing to be done this week and said my prayer to God that I remember to talk to Him. Also, thanked Him for His wisdom and my place in his world. I'll tell you what! I feel 20x better this a.m. Not only am I getting housework done (waaayy overdue) but cooked a killer chili pie and catching up on email. Hopefully, I can keep up the momentum.